I am not the best blogger. I LOVE reading blogs...I read Nat the Fat Rat (my favorite), CJane and NieNie weekly but I just think, how many people are really going to want read about our lives--when everyone has so much going on in their OWN lives....? Plus, it takes forever to upload pictures and etc. But on the other hand, I think because we are a 'Transatlantic' family, maybe I should try a little harder to share photos and all of the shenanigans we are up to, since half of our family will always be an ocean and a continent away. So, maybe I'll try a little harder. We'll see :-) .
Basically, the start of 2013 has been rocky. In mid January, just 2 days before what I hoped would be a wonderful "Cowboy Party" for my little Isaac's 2nd birthday, we had an ultrasound and once again, heard the awful words, "no heart beat--I am SO sorry." Oh, I can't express the horrible emotions that followed. Finding we lost another baby girl at basically the same gestation as the one we lost over the summer was almost more than I could bear. I'm sure you're wondering, "Why is this happening? and "What is wrong with you, Ally?" is what you are probably thinking--and I'm wondering the same thing. They have done a long list of tests (all of which were done in America in June, too) and nothing abnormal has been found so far. Because this was our third loss, we were able to have genetic testing done, and those results haven't come back yet. Things are much slower here in England in the way of health care, the doctor's office said some tests take three months to get results for--which is hard for me to deal with because when this happens to you, and THREE times no less--it's very difficult to wait that long for answers. The "consultant" hasn't been very helpful. I've called to ask questions and left messages for a return call three times, and she still hasn't phoned me back. It's frustrating. Don't go to socialized healthcare, America!!! :-) The doctors we were able to talk to at the hospital did warn us that there might not be a problem to find (mainly because we have had a successful pregnancy) and were optimistic about us having another baby with the help of a high risk doctor--so I cling to that hope. The thought of not having another baby makes my heart ache, but going through another 2nd trimester miscarriage is a terrifying thought. We are very grateful that we were able to have Isaac so easily. Sometimes I feel selfish for wanting another baby so badly when I have friends who have not had children and who struggle with infertility and etc. I think I want another child so much because my brothers and sister mean the world to me and I would feel that I have failed little Isaac if I don't give him at least one brother/sister to go through his life with. Sorry to be so depressing...I know there are MANY people with more difficult problems than me!
Anyway, on to happier things. Isaac. Wow, I can't tell you how much we love him. I had VERY high expectations of motherhood and what my baby would be like--he is better than anything I could have dreamed of or hoped for. He is SO funny. He has a horse obsession. He can say "horse" in so many different ways-"horsey," "hoooorsssez," "baby hORse..." it is SO adorable. He is a true cowboy-I'm not sure how that happened. I called him my little cowboy when I was pregnant with him because he would go crazy when when he heard country music, but I never actually thought he would be so nutty about all things cowboy. He hardly ever leaves the house without his cowboy hat. He even likes John Wayne movies. My cowboy grandpa is probably in heaven smiling at him everyday :). Isaac is really starting to talk and communicate with us which we love. Some of his new words are: pocket, stories, horse show, Gruffalo, pants, shirt, boots, train, chair, treat, juice, chocolate, car, blanket. He has mastered animal sounds, that's an old trick :-) and parts of the face/body. We are working on the alphabet, but honestly, he only knows the "B" consistently. We are working on colors too, but he says everything is blue :-), nobody's perfect! He is smart, cute, funny with a head full of blonde curls-I couldn't ask for a more perfect little boy!
Here are some old and new pictures:
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| Isaac, five months-just before we moved to England |
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| That's me--29 weeks pregnant, I got A LOT bigger :)...hoping it'll happen again someday |
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| With my baby in D.C. in June 2012 (visiting my brother, KevRon) |
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| My Christmas Elf-December 2011 |
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| The day after the best day of my life--Isaac still in the hospital at 1 day old |
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| Summer 2012 |
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| The Lake District, September 2012 |
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| October 2012 |
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| Summer 2012--perfect mustache! |
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| On the farm, summer 2012 |
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| Isaac LOVES strawberries |
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| My wild and crazy cowboy |
